For the Love of Women series Part 3

 

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Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and criticize everything you see?

Do you talk about your forehead being too big or your lips too small?

Those are just examples but most women have issues with one or more of their body parts.

I do. I am overweight. I’m jiggly in way too many areas. Things have fallen and they no longer even try to get up. My hair is half box Red/half natural gray, (the gray started at 25). I have a stomach covered in stretch marks. Not to mention the three scars from my gall bladder surgery. And those are only some of the things visible.

Why do we do that? Why is our idea of what is beautiful so messed up? Do we have to look a certain way to be sexy?

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About a year ago, give or take, I reached the decision that despite what my internal message to myself might be, I would stop putting myself down and start acknowledging my beauty. After all, I’m the only me there ever will be. And I will embrace the sexy that I have within me.

My stretch marks are my badges of honor from forming two precious lives within me, nurturing and letting them grow.

My gall bladder scars are a daily reminder to watch what I put in my mouth. As a result, I try to cook healthier which is opening up more family time around the table as opposed to eating out or grabbing a snack.

Although I’m not sure that I am ready to stop coloring my hair, my grays are a legacy from my mother who also went gray at an early age and colored her hair. And it is a somber reminder to act my age at times. Not often but sometimes.

And yes, I’m overweight and that’s a health concern. I have started to workout. But I don’t do it to make myself more pleasing to someone. To be honest, if you don’t like me as I am now, then I can guarantee you that I won’t like you when and if I ever meet your approval. I do it because I want to breathe better, live longer and play harder with my children.

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I was recently involved in a conversation about being sexy and others perception of us and how we allow that to affect us. In the process of the conversation I made a comment that I thought was pretty profound. It is as much applicable to ourselves as to others view of us.

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Continuing to ignore the beauty of YOU can eventually spill over into areas you would rather it not. In Part 4 of this series, I will discuss what happens when that happens and how it affects your children, daughters especially.

 

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For the Love of Women series part 2

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Did you know that there is a word for hating women? I didn’t. The word is misogyny and it’s recorded as being used as far back as 1656. Yeah, that’s not a typo, I really meant 1656 A.D. 

Think that just refers to men who hate women, who think women are second-class citizens, property, nothing more than something to take care of their needs. Think again. This definition states simply a hatred of women. Very common now is the practice of “being a hater” and the most proficient persons at this seem to be women when talking about other women. 

 The “funny” thing about women being misogynistic is that it’s not usually based on a perceived notion of wrongdoing but more an emotional aversion. Emotional in that there is no consistency about what they like/dislike or the type of woman who falls victim to the hate.

 Slender is considered too thin, anorexic or bulimic.

Overweight is considered gluttonous, lazy or frumpy.

Showing skin is considered slutty, attention-seeking and inappropriate.

Staying covered is considered prudish, plain and matronly.

Big breasts are considered too much, to be hidden, and slutty.

Small breasts are considered too small, boyish and unwomanly.

 These are just some of the insults that I have heard and read that women say to or about other women. In the same breath one woman will be slutty because of the cut of her top while another is a prude because her skirt goes to her ankles.

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Does the way someone else dresses really alter your life in such a way that you need to insult them? Or is it just an attempt to feel better about yourself? 

 I used to fall into that misogynistic state of mind, and to be honest, still do at times. But I decided to do my best to uplift women that I come into contact with instead of putting them down.

 

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Stop the Misogyny…stop the #girlhate. #Empower others and be empowered!

In the next installment, the discussion turns to our inner voice, and what it says about us.

For the Love of Women series part 1

girlfriends-338449_640Women.
 
Short, tall, thin, curvy, pear-shaped, apple-shaped, hourglass shaped, long hair, short hair, curly, straight, redhead, brunette, blonde. So many endless labels we put on each other and ourselves. 

 
The original plan was to write about why women hate on other women. You know what I mean. You see a woman walk by and whether out loud or in your mind, you start talking about her. 
 
“She shouldn’t wear something like that.”
 
“How much make-up does she need?” 
 
“She sure is showing a lot of skin.”
 
“She just thinks she is HOT!” 
 
“She really didn’t even try with her hair.”
 
We have all done it. Maybe it was when you were a teenager. Or maybe you still do it. You aren’t alone. It’s safe to say that a good majority of women have at least one time had catty comments about another woman. And the majority of those continue to do it on a frequent basis, if not daily.
 
Why? Do we hate our own gender? 
 
As I said, I originally planned to write about why women hate on other women but after doing some research on the subject, it has evolved into a series, For the love of Women. In For the Love of Women series, I will discuss how we as women cut down each other, ourselves, and pass it on to our daughters and how to go about finding peace with our bodies and each other. 
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(Posts in this series will post every other day. Please follow and feel free to comment throughout the series. I hope to read your comments. Thank you!)

Take it Easy and Take Care

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I am on a countdown. A time bomb waiting to explode.
I am both excited and dreading what is to come. 
This will forever change everything. Some might say for the better, but I, well I am not totally convinced. 
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You see, my son, my 4-year-old baby boy, whom I have written about before, is about to start school. Kindergarten. I’m excited for him because I still remember Kindergarten and how fun it was. Going to centers, recess, everything being so new and full of learning moments. I’m excited for him because he is most definitely an extroverted, “people” person. He loves attention and being around other children. School will put him in his element and give him more interaction than he now gets at home. 
 
And he is so smart. He already knows how to write, say and the sound of the entire alphabet. He can count up to 120, and by tens to 100. He can add and subtract single digits equations. And we are working on reading. He loves to draw. And his memory when it comes to music is amazing. For instance, about 2 maybe 3 weeks ago we purchased the Disney Frozen movie. He has watched it maybe 2 to 3 times a week since then and he can recite all of the songs, except for some words he doesn’t know, but he says something very similar sounding. He can even do the sound effects of the movie, in order. 
 
So I know that he will soak in all the experiences that present themselves. And there lies the part that I am dreading. I’m gonna say right now, I know that my son isn’t perfect. He gives me attitude at times that would make any teenager proud. But he still has that sweet, baby-like innocence. 
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Do you know what I mean? 
 
He has never been exposed to someone who didn’t like him just because. Just because of skin, hair color, size, the way he talks, where he lives, what he wears, etc. I mean the list can go on and on. I wish it wasn’t that way. He isn’t like that. He goes into things just happy to be doing it. Mickey and I try to make a point of not referring to people by a generic term. It’s important to us that he see people for their inner self instead of the outward self. 
 
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Also, he has never had his heart broken, from a first crush. Or the first “friend” that does him wrong behind his back. The teacher that shows favoritism, and he isn’t a favorite. 
 
So many things, things that I can not watch and control, are going to be able to touch his life. And I know, my mind knows, that this will make him into the man that he is meant to become. But my heart just wants to protect him from the hurts. 
 
So…Kindergarten…take it easy on my heart and take care of my boy.
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The gift of Blueberries

blackberries-387470My sister Christi stopped by a few days ago after having been to a farmers market. She generously shared some of her findings with us, although according to Jacob it was all for him. In addition to a lovely butternut squash, we were happy to receive some organic blueberries. Jacob immediately set about eating a few of them.

Jacob, Mickey and I discussed what we wanted to do with the blueberries. They aren’t one of our usual berry buys, opting more for strawberries. But we finally reached a decision. Pancakes. And at a later time, muffins. So, that would be our Sunday brunch.

100_1732Jacob loves to help me cook and I love for him to gain that life skill as well as safety training lessons on heat, cooking and being aware. So Sunday morning, standing on his step stool, Jacob helped to cook fresh blueberry pancakes, sausage and scrambled eggs.

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The results were wonderful! And we had fun too. Thanks to my sister for the gift of blueberries!

Shop Til Ya Drop!

I’ve been on kind of a slump lately about providing new activities for the kids. So, since my great-niece was going to be spending a couple of nights with us, I decided to put together a make-believe “store”.
I found a wonderful printable of play paper money from misstiina.com. 
Then Mickey and I went about gathering other objects such as wallets, old ID’s, expired Credit cards, shopping bags, grocery lists and a netbook to pose as the cash register. Then we gathered items for them to “buy”, different grocery items, some toys, empty baby food containers, etc.  It turned out really well albeit a bit unorganized, but since neither of the kids had played shopping before no one was really the wiser.
I am in the process of adding more stuff to the mix. I have kept food boxes (which I taped shut), some cleaning bottles (after thoroughly cleaning them), a bag for chips and hamburger buns (both of which I filled with wadded paper to make it seem the bags were full). I’m still looking for purses, dramatic dress-up clothes, plastic coins and something to use as a cart (hopefully something that won’t take up much room).
They had fun and hopefully, as they get use to it, it will be even more fun for them. Then, as princess grows, they can show her how to play.
Here are some pictures from our playtime.
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