Since starting this blog, I have tried to stay more up on the news, especially that concerning parenting, kids and home. And I have come to the realization that there are some pretty messed up people on this earth.
These beautiful little beings, that we as parents have been given to nurture and love, are not pawns or scapegoats for the emotional issues adults deal with. They are not here as a punching bag or a sexual being. They are not burdens to be handled or crosses to bear. Despite what the voices might be telling you, no one is telling you to do crap. Plain and simple, you are crazy and evil.
To those that hurt children, you are scum.
Ok I am through with my venting. For now.
There have been so many stories of parents leaving their children in hot cars, or worse “purposely” causing them harm.
I hate reading them, they hurt my heart. I cry for the little life that was lost because of stupidity. I’m happy for those who were abused no longer have to deal with the evil and hatred that infiltrated their few years but I wish they could have found freedom and happiness alive. I’m angry because even the most defiant and undisciplined child deserves a happy life.
Believe me, I know that children are not perfect. Even my own children! My son has anger issues, he likes to hit me and most of the time he blatantly does the opposite of whatever we (his father and I) ask of him. But as frustrated and overwhelmed as I may feel at times, my children are always on my mind. If the lights flicker in the house due to a storm, my first reaction is to place a flashlight close to Jacob because it frightens him to be in total blackness. I start the car, before putting in the kids, to get the windows down or the A/C on so that air can circulate.
My mind whirls with questions when I read articles like this. I’m not trying to accuse or judge but as a parent I question forgetting your child. I mean for one thing, its not a simple task getting them dressed and loaded into the car. Then as for my children, my son especially, talks almost the entire time we are in the car. Constantly being asked questions or Not to mention the continual checking on them at stop signs/lights and such.
Then I read articles like this and I wonder why some people bother to have children. I mean, come on, we all know how it happens and all the various ways to prevent it. If I get overwhelmed with Jacob’s anger, instead of responding with anger also, I try to remove us from each other for a cooling down time. It helps. Sometimes, I just try to ignore the behavior in hopes that it will go away. That works about half of the time. And then other times I respond with anger of my own by raising my voice, and I hate that I do that and its something I’m working on. My point is that we as parents need to control ourselves better because we have had years of practice whereas our children are still learning the full scope of their emotions.
I hope that the children who survive find ways to live a fulfilling and love filled life. And I am comforted by my belief that those children who lost their precious lives were accepted into the waiting hands of the Heavenly Father.
I don’t know if anyone has read about the killing spree that took place at UCSB or the manifesto left behind by the disturbed young man responsible, but it has made me think about my babies and how they perceive themselves and others.
The killer seemingly blamed everyone but himself. He blamed his mother for not marrying into a wealthy family after his parents divorce. He blamed the girls attending college with him because they wouldn’t date him. He blamed couples on campus for having what he envied-a relationship. He video taped himself saying that he would “make them pay”. He later used his car, a knife and three guns to terrorize a campus, consequently killing six souls, injuring more and taking his own life.
Horrible though this is, the thoughts that it leaves behind with me are about my own children. I think about how their father and I are raising them.
My son: Are we raising him to respect women? Will he continue to see them as princesses or as objects? Will he appreciate all that we did for him even though we aren’t rich and he doesn’t get everything he wants? Will he be confident enough in himself to deal with rejection? Will he find acceptable outlets for his anger, that don’t include violence to women or anyone for that matter? Will he accept responsibility for his actions?
My daughter: Will she be confident enough to stand up for herself? Will she know that she is beautiful whether she fits into others view of what beauty is? Will she stand firm under pressure? Will she know that she is more than her bra size? Will she appreciate all that we did for her even though we aren’t rich and she doesn’t get everything she wants? Will she ask for help when she needs it? Will she accept responsibility for her actions?
I love my children very much. I hope they live prosperous lives and know at all times that they are always the center of my universe. But I know that they are not perfect, because well, lets face it, who is. Just like myself and everyone else, they will always be a work in progress. But while daddy and I are guardians of their lives, I hope and pray that we provide them with the tools they need to answer “yes” to all of the above.
Thoughts and prayers go out to the families that lost children in this horrific incident.
#yesallwomen and #notallmen