For the Love of Women series Part 4

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When I started this series, I was thinking mostly about the way women always put down other women. How we evaluate ourselves within the realms of other people’s opinions. How we feel hatred within and towards our own bodies. But it is so much more than that. How we treat others and ourselves teaches our children how to treat others and themselves. How we define ourselves will directly influence our children’s definition. 

I’m sitting here at my computer to write this post and I look over to see my daughter looking at me from her high chair next to me and she smiles, showing both newly arrived teeth. I turn my head just a bit more and I see my son setting at the table playing educational (and fun) games on daddy’s computer. We do this often, sitting together so I can get some of my computer work done. It works out pretty good, even more now that Michaela is able to play with toys.

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On two occasions, these precious children have been referred to as “overweight”. Michaela is almost 7 months old, and is just now starting to be mobile. Jacob is almost 5 years old and is constantly moving. It angered me. It angers me that these “weight guidelines” are so generic and one size fits all. Why do my children need to be the same size as yours? Or vice versa? Why is it so wrong to be individually sized?

In Part 3 of this series I stated all the things about myself that are not to my liking, my inner dialog. I feel those thoughts often. But you know what? That was the first time in a while where I have given them voice outside of my mind. I refuse to allow my son and daughter to hear me put myself down. Why you ask? Well let me share my thoughts.

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If my son hears me talk about how I need to lose weight, have a tiny waist, a smaller nose, etc., then what am I teaching him? . When he starts dating (you know, when he turns 30…J), he will think the most important thing to look for is slim, tiny waist, perfect face instead of a beautiful mind, kind heart and loving spirit. Then he is just another guy who only judges a woman by her outward appearance instead of her inner qualities.

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And my daughter, what does she learn? It will affect her the most. She learns that she is not good enough, not slim enough, not pretty enough. She learns that it’s not about being healthy but about having a tiny waist. She will fall for the first guy to pay her a compliment.  When we pass on that body hate to our daughters, guess what? They pass it on to their daughters and they to their daughters and so on. It’s a generational curse of sorts.

The recent stories of model pictures being Photoshop edited to look smaller and the new clothing sizes established by some clothing stores/lines are promoting an unhealthy and unrealistic challenge for impressionable young girls.  They are bombarded on the television, magazines, internet and from their friends.

Don’t they deserve to have someone show them that they are beautiful however they look? Shouldn’t that come from us the parents, the mothers showing them that they should love their own bodies?

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In the next installment, its time to start changing things. Time to find out how to be a body love role model and teach our children how to love their bodies. Time to break that generational curse and societies standards.

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9 thoughts on “For the Love of Women series Part 4

  1. Rena McDaniel-The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver

    I have been over weight my whole life…or so I thought when I recently started my travel blog I started going through old pictures and I was so unhealthy skinny why did I never feel this way? Because I was told everyday that I was fat by 4 brothers. I never thought about it before this. I wish I had read this when my daughter was little! You are a wonderful parent and your children are absolutely beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. mommaboo83109 Post author

      Thank you Rena! It’s heartbreaking when the insults come from a family member or friend. I can’t shield my children from negative body comments from everyone but I can make sure they know that they are beautiful in my eyes. My sister became and was bulimic for years because of one idiotic comment from someone who said they loved her. I am sorry that your brothers said that to you and I hope you embrace your beauty because you are beautiful!

      P.S.
      I love your blog.

      Like

      Reply
  2. Cathy

    Lovely post and an honest, authentic one. All of our struggles. In the end? We are all okay exactly how we are….Does that make sense to you? Now if only I could also listen to that advice. Ah, human nature! xo

    Like

    Reply

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