My son Jacob has become steadily more aggressive with his daddy and I since we found out Michaela was in the works. Now that she is here, his jealous has reverted him back to things he had overcome already. We both try to involve him in certain aspects of Michaela’s care and try to spend some one on one time with him. But his first response to everything is anger.
And as much as I hate to admit it, I am much the same way. I yell too much, usually to be heard over his own screaming, but nonetheless yelling. I have decided to change my approach to him and, well, everything, for that matter.
I get easily stressed out these days. Not just from my children, but from life, in general.
I’m sleep deprived.
Home is never as clean as I want it.
Cooking is not an elective.
My only free time is from around 11pm til I’m so exhausted I have to sleep. (usually around 3 or 4 am)
I have 3 dogs and 3 cats (none of which are mine) that I look after on a daily basis.
I’m trying to prepare my son for Kindergarten.
Keep the kids entertained.
Make sure I remember every doctors appointment.
Remember the day trash has to be put out.
None of these are excuses. They are my triggers. The things that keep me from being the happy playful mom that I want to be. I want to spend the day playing puzzles and hide ‘n seek with my son. Dressing up as a super hero and “save” the cats from their perilous perch on the deep freezer. I want to be the mom that doesn’t say “honey, mommy’s tired” or “just a minute” and never finds the end of that minute. I want to lay on the floor and wait patiently for my baby girl to make her first moves or say her first words. I want to be one of the happiest and fondest memories of their childhood.
And even though I tell my children that I love them, I want to show them in every aspect of my mothering abilities. Show them that they are the most important and precious gifts I could ever have received. Show them so that they know that they are special and loved and capable of anything.
So, in front of anyone reading this post, I solemnly swear to be THAT MOM. I need to lower my standards of what I must get done in a day, maybe take one day to do most of my cleaning and make the rest of the time a priority to just be with my children. I know it will not be a simple and easy task. But my children are worth it.