I love my mom.

My mom has vascular dementia/Alzheimer’s Disease.
The progress of her disease has been much quicker than I thought or hoped. When it was found out that she had Alzheimer’s I felt and conveyed to my family that she could have years and years of cognitive skill remaining. She was mobile and strong. She ate well and could be as quick witted as ever.
And now, less than 18 months since her diagnosis, my mother has become bed-ridden, has to eat pureed foods and is, for the most part, non-verbal. On rare and wonderful times, you receive a glint of recognition in her eyes as she stares at you. Other times, she only recognizes the love of her life, my father.
My once vibrant, beautiful and outspoken mother has become a smaller, quieter yet still beautiful version of herself.
It gets harder each time I visit her because I see less of my wonderful mom. And I don’t want to lose that picture in my head of her as she was before the disease. I want to carry that memory to share with my children when they are old enough to retain it.
Along with watching the vitality withdraw from my mother, I am struck with thoughts of things that can never be again. I could always talk to my mom, about anything, I mean anything. When I wanted to know things about my childhood, she always quick to tell me those memories. I learned to be a strong outspoken woman and to give as good as I got. Mom has always told my sisters and I that we were smart and beautiful. Always smart first because that was the important one.
When my children get sick, my first reaction is “I need to call my mom she will have the best way to handle things”. I am saddened by the fact that my daughter will never know my mom the way that I did. The hip-swinging don’t give a damn about anything woman that I remember from my childhood. My mom has always been fearless and ready to take on whatever comes her way.
Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease. In my opinion it is far worse than an illness* that wears away at the body because while horrible, the ravages of the body can be seen and felt by both the victim and the loved ones. Alzheimer’s is a sneaky underhanded disease that affects the mind sometimes long before the victim or loved ones notice the damage. It is unknown how long my mom has suffered with the disease, only how long we noticed the aftereffects.
So as this blog is my vocal outlet, I would just like to say, loud and clear:


#alzheimerssucks #endalz #findacure #memoriesshouldlastforever

*This comment is in no way meant to lessen the pain of other diseases or illnesses. Simply a statement of my opinion on how this particular disease is so sneaky. If I had my way I would eliminate all illnesses because they all tear us from each other.*

To Cry or To Dance?

My little boy started school last week and he was so excited. We both managed to get through the first morning without crying as I walked him to his class. But that was the calmest time of the entire week.100_1949

When we picked him up that afternoon, he was angry and crying. Even now a week later, I’m not sure why he was angry or crying. This became the theme for the entire week. He was either upset, crying or both and it expanded to both morning and afternoon. He wasn’t eating his lunches that I made him (all things I knew that he would eat). He told me that he had moved down on his behavior chart each day.

It was so hard seeing him upset about school. He loved being with his new friends but when they all got stickers for being good and he didn’t. Well, let me put it this way, to my son, not getting a sticker is like being the only one in your company to not get the cost of living raise but instead getting a pink slip. It’s the ultimate rejection.

I didn’t want to be impetuous and ruin a possibly good relationship with my son’s teacher or the school. So the next morning, I walked him to class and spoke with his teacher to find out why he was getting in trouble and what needed work. Not surprisingly most of the issues (listening skills, personal space, sitting still and not being a clown) he had caused were things we have had problems with at home also.

So today started week two of Kindergarten. I have high hopes for the week. When I picked him up this afternoon, according to him he stayed on the good side of the chart but he did kick another kids backpack. When I asked why he kicked it, he told me “I just wanted to dance!” Not ok to kick but so much better than coming home in tears.


Homemade Baby Food

I am starting to feed Michaela chunky food and she does really well with it.

Here’s my latest combination with pictures of the taste test.

Slow Cooker plain cooked chicken, steamed brown rice and butternut squash with just a touch of water. 100_1932


She absolutely loved it.100_1930100_1927100_1929






Chicken Quesadilla

Chicken Quesadilla has been one of our favorite things lately.
We started getting them quite a bit at Taco Bell but then I was convinced I could make them at home just as easy. So we decided to get the stuff we didn’t already have in the house. We had just gotten some bell peppers, banana peppers and sweet peppers at the farmers market, which were cut and frozen, that would go good in them.
So next day comes and I put frozen chicken in the crock pot to cook until it falls apart. I don’t put any seasoning on it because I fix a whole 3 pound bag that can be used throughout the week in different meal/recipes.
In this particular meal, I used the McCormick Grill Mates Chipotle Pepper to season the chicken. I sauté’ the chicken and seasoning with an assortment of the peppers in a small skillet while at the same time in a larger skillet I heat one side of a tortilla then flip it over.
I added cheese then topped with the sautéed chicken and peppers. Fold the Tortilla in half and toast lightly on both sides.
To serve the yummy quesadillas, cut in triangles and serve with sour cream or guacamole, whichever your preference. Enjoy!

For the Love of Women series Part 5

puzzle-140904_640“Body image is the mental representation we create of what we think we look like; it may or may not bear a close relation to how others actually see us. That is, it is subject to all kinds of distortion from internal elements like our emotions, moods, early experiences, attitudes of our parents, and much more.” Psychology Today 

So how do we change what we think we look like? Can we find peace with our bodies? And is it possible to break the habit of bad body image with our children?
I think so, if you really want to. It’s not a quick over-night happening. It takes work. You need to change your perception of others, yourself and your children. It’s important to know that you will always be a work in progress and you will slip up. But a slip up doesn’t mean you give up. It means you try harder and avoid the action, situation or person that made you falter. The following are things I changed about how I perceive others, myself and my children. 
I started with working on my perception of others. I thought it would be the hardest, but you know what, I was wrong.
  • See the beauty in people. I’m not just talking about outward appearances. I mean see people for who they are, their personality, heart, attitude, etc. Society’s idea of beauty doesn’t mean beautiful spirit, unfortunately, so although a person maybe perceived as “beautiful” or “handsome” they could have the nastiest spirit. 
  • Realize that everything in life comes in all different shapes, sizes, colors and styles. That includes people.
Learning to not judge others on their looks was easy compared to the internal dialog we give ourselves. I had more problems with this than anything else. I had judged myself for so long and so hard. I had allowed it to tear me down. And I still catch myself thinking of some part of my body with disappointment, so I’m not completely “cured” by any means. Like I said before, I am a work in progress. These are the thing I resolved to change or let go.  
  • I don’t need to lose weight to be sexy or hot or because someone thinks I should. If I choose to lose weight, it will be for myself and to be healthy so that I can enjoy my life and watch my children grow. 
  • I refuse to allow others to define me. 
    • Call me fat….Duh, guess what I have a mirror.
    • Call me a ginger….Yeah and I paid for the box it came in.
    • Point out the gravitational pull of my body….I’m 40, it happens.
    • Point out my big butt….so this Baby got back, never had any complaints on that.
    • Freckles…Yep got those, Nope I don’t cover them with make-up.
    • Brain….Why,yes, thank you for noticing….that doesn’t usually get acknowledged.
  • I refuse to define myself in a negative way also. 
  • I determined to realize that I am beautiful. Maybe not in the way that you are beautiful or the way these women are beautiful. But my beauty is unique to me and yours is to you. 
  • I decided to let go of toxic people in my life, I may not be able to rid myself of them (i.e. co-workers, family, neighbors, etc.) but I can limit the contact I have with them. 
My babies and I....they love me....just the way I am! And I love them just the way they are.

My babies and I….they love me….just the way I am! And I love them just the way they are.

The only way to end the war on #bodyimage , #girlhate , and #womenvswomen is to change the course of the future. Well, that sounds daunting doesn’t it? Well guess what? Most of us probably already do some of the suggestions I’m about to make. As cliché as it sounds, our children are the future and to change the future’s outlook on body images, we need to help them learn how to value beauty in everything and everyone. We need to:
  • not allow others to define them. 
  • show them how to love themselves just the way they are. 
  • show them how to not focus on physical attributes only. Appreciate a person’s mind and heart not the size of their jeans. 
  • teach them the difference between being healthy and overweight/skinny, because neither one means you are healthy. 
  • teach them that television/media/advertisers are out to make money. They don’t care about the message they send out as long as it sells the product/look/show. 
  • make a point to never voice a dissatisfaction of their body or your own. This is important. No child should ever hear their parent tell them they are fat, ugly or skinny. 
  • tell them not only are they handsome/beautiful every day but tell them they are smart, friendly, and a good person. 

We all have enough pressure on us about body image in every magazine, advertisement, tv show and movie that’s out there. The last thing we need is to be negative toward our children and ourselves. Besides, don’t we all deserve to be treated as the beautiful beings we are? 

Live your Life, perfectly crazy~~~<3Kathy<3

For the Love of Women series Part 4


When I started this series, I was thinking mostly about the way women always put down other women. How we evaluate ourselves within the realms of other people’s opinions. How we feel hatred within and towards our own bodies. But it is so much more than that. How we treat others and ourselves teaches our children how to treat others and themselves. How we define ourselves will directly influence our children’s definition. 

I’m sitting here at my computer to write this post and I look over to see my daughter looking at me from her high chair next to me and she smiles, showing both newly arrived teeth. I turn my head just a bit more and I see my son setting at the table playing educational (and fun) games on daddy’s computer. We do this often, sitting together so I can get some of my computer work done. It works out pretty good, even more now that Michaela is able to play with toys.


On two occasions, these precious children have been referred to as “overweight”. Michaela is almost 7 months old, and is just now starting to be mobile. Jacob is almost 5 years old and is constantly moving. It angered me. It angers me that these “weight guidelines” are so generic and one size fits all. Why do my children need to be the same size as yours? Or vice versa? Why is it so wrong to be individually sized?

In Part 3 of this series I stated all the things about myself that are not to my liking, my inner dialog. I feel those thoughts often. But you know what? That was the first time in a while where I have given them voice outside of my mind. I refuse to allow my son and daughter to hear me put myself down. Why you ask? Well let me share my thoughts.


If my son hears me talk about how I need to lose weight, have a tiny waist, a smaller nose, etc., then what am I teaching him? . When he starts dating (you know, when he turns 30…J), he will think the most important thing to look for is slim, tiny waist, perfect face instead of a beautiful mind, kind heart and loving spirit. Then he is just another guy who only judges a woman by her outward appearance instead of her inner qualities.


And my daughter, what does she learn? It will affect her the most. She learns that she is not good enough, not slim enough, not pretty enough. She learns that it’s not about being healthy but about having a tiny waist. She will fall for the first guy to pay her a compliment.  When we pass on that body hate to our daughters, guess what? They pass it on to their daughters and they to their daughters and so on. It’s a generational curse of sorts.

The recent stories of model pictures being Photoshop edited to look smaller and the new clothing sizes established by some clothing stores/lines are promoting an unhealthy and unrealistic challenge for impressionable young girls.  They are bombarded on the television, magazines, internet and from their friends.

Don’t they deserve to have someone show them that they are beautiful however they look? Shouldn’t that come from us the parents, the mothers showing them that they should love their own bodies?


In the next installment, its time to start changing things. Time to find out how to be a body love role model and teach our children how to love their bodies. Time to break that generational curse and societies standards.